Heard on Twitter

THOUGHTFUL TWEETS
domsiano: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – Buddha

lacreshahayes: I need to Twitter this, so bare with me. I just received word that a woman that came to us last week is dead.

lacreshahayes: Her boyfriend pushed her a little too hard and she hit her head on something. Not sure what. I don’t have all the details.

lacreshahayes: If YOU are in a bad relationship and are being abused, PLEASE tell someone and let them help you! It’s imperative you do it NOW!

lacreshahayes: A person doesn’t have to be trying to kill you to do it. They have a son together, about 6 months old. Not sure what will happen to him.

lacreshahayes: I beg of you all, if you know someone, please don’t get tired of trying to help them. It could be the difference between life or death!!!

AprilTara: I’m more upset for her. She put a lot of work into that group & did a heck of a job at it. Now its gone over petty crap? Aren’t we adults?

mrshannigan: who the hell decided that “secret life…” and “greek” are FAMILY shows? ABC family needs a new name

doshdosh: I think it means she’s pro-life first but she advocates womens rights regardless of that belief. Hence, she’s a pro-life feminist.

lynnterry: To anything that thinks MySpace is “dead” or useless to your business – you’re right. There’s nobody of interest there. Keep ignoring it ;)

FUNNY TWEETS
momofteenstwit2: Did I mention I love having a son who is in drivers ed..he will clean, take out garbage, shower, just for a chance to drive..ahh nice!

MrsBalcom: 2 y/o found a rock and started singing, “Jesus is the rock and he rolls my blues away, bop shoo bop shoo bop, whoo!

SimplySassy: Just gave the Chihuahua a bath and now he’s running about the house as if he’d had an espresso beforehand.

Dr_of_Love: I heard you can take this pill once a day called TV that will cure your creativity breakouts.

Dr_of_Love: How can you trust a man who has a belt and suspenders, man doesn’t even trust his own pants. –Henry Fonda Once upon the time in the west

AprilTara: Yeah, like a serial killer would be worried about a law saying killing sprees must be done within city limits with a population over 30,000

lynnterry: Unless I’m told otherwise, “tomorrow” can mean 12:01am :-)

jennydecki: I was going to make pasta with chicken. It was going to be really cool. Then I gave the girls pop tarts. Cause I got confused.

jennydecki: He won’t do dentures. His teeth are somehow attached to his penis. Don’t remember that from anatomy class, but whatever LOL

relocatedyank: they say imitation is a form of flattery, but you know what? soar your business with your OWN ideas.. not mine

lynnterry: When Google starts indexing audio & video, I will rank #1 for “umm” :-)

relocatedyank: Note to Men on Dating Sites: Please try to sound intelligent. Really. You’ll get a lot further. Also? Just released from jail? Um, no.

jennydecki: I’d be on that like a hooker on a gold card.

jennydecki: Obama smoked the weed. Palin smoked the weed. Where will the weed vote go?

jennydecki: My mom says that it spells disaster for Obama. But she’s schizophrenic so the voices could be wrong

relocatedyank: working from home? SO ROCKS… :D But my house is not cleaner as i thought it would be when i took the job… :D

AprilTara: Forget making lemonade out of lemons. Make margaritas!

jennydecki: Wow. You’re like, the woman of my dreams and stuff. I’M not even the woman of my dreams, you’re good LOL

akaMonty: There’s this one guy I follow that never talks to me, and yet I can’t give him up because he’s so damn good looking. I AM A SICK PERSON.

sugarrae: My son just pitched a fit that I tried to buy him shoes that weren’t nike… Lmao, he’s four

typeamom: Wait just a MINUTE! There can NOT be a rule on Twitter about not bitching about your husband. I doth protest!

TWEETS THAT MAKE YOU GO, HUH?
AprilTara: Bizarre comment on show re:serial killers & big cities: “There’s no law that keeps serial killers within city limits.” Huh? 3M Ago

AprilTara: Comment someone left on a parenting blog: “All states allow parents to abandon their infant children….they are called “Working Mothers”.