Why am I up at one o’clock in the morning?

Jer 29:11 (NIV) “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

DISCLAIMER: This is long, and mostly a vent. Just needing a shoulder to cry on.

Andrew has been sick for about a week and a half now. He’s stuffed up, coughing loud and long, as well as has a fever. He missed school all last week, and he will miss all of this week. I took him to the doctor last Friday. This is actually something we’ve dealt with off and on since he was little. I think it started around two. And it is really only a problem come this time of year. The doctor calls it Reactive Airway Disease and the way he describes it, I basically interpret it as “seasonal asthma” meaning it acts like asthma, but since it’s not year round, it’s technically not asthma.

Ok, so back to Friday. The doctor checks his ears and throat, and all is clear. He is running a relatively high fever so it’s fairly safe to say that it’s probably turned into a sinus type infection since there is no ear infection or strep. So he puts him on amoxicillin and liquid albuterol. Both of which have always helped him in the past. Neither of us currently have health insurance, so I was happy to learn that both these meds were on WalMart’s new $4 prescriptions list. I took him by the school on the way home to pick up some of the work he’s missed so we can catch him up some. I assure the teacher that he should be back by Monday because normally when we start him on the albuterol, he’s better in a matter of days.

Monday comes, and he’s not much better. In fact, I dare to say he’s getting worse in some ways. I keep him home another day mainly because I have to take my car to the repair shop and if the school calls to say, “Hey dummy, he’s still sick. Come get him.” I wouldn’t have a car to do so. By Monday night, he’s still coughing up a lung and at one point coughs so much he pukes. (Which by the way, he did Sunday night also.)

I decide I’m going to have to call the doctor Tuesday morning and see what he thinks. The doctor basically says if he’s not gotten worse, you don’t need to bring him in. Give it a few more days. I tell him that’s what’s got me worried. It’s not obviously worse, but I have a nagging feeling it is worse. I describe a little more my immediate concerns at which point I’m told, “You better bring him in.”

We get in to see the doctor a couple hours later and of course, Andrew is breathing better than he has all weekend. However, when the doctor listens to his lungs he says I’m right and that he IS having a harder time breathing than he was Friday. He decides to upgrade him from the liquid albuterol to an albuterol inhaler. This should be fun. Then he checks his ears and throat and discovers that he’s getting an ear infection. Since he’s been on amoxicillin since Friday, this is cause to believe he’s built a resistance to it. He needs to upgrade his antibiotic too. I forget to bring the WalMart list with me so he writes it for Omnicef and just tells me if it’s not on the list to have the pharmacy call him. They can tell him what’s on the list, and he’ll change it. Also, he wants me to get a spacer for the inhaler. He’s not sure if that will be on the list.

SIDEBAR – Let me insert here that I’m broke. Broker than broke. I’m two months behind on my rent. My cell phone is shut off and two months behind. I’m to the point in my biz that I’m making enough to pay the bills, but I’m not making enough to get caught up.

I go to WalMart to get his prescriptions. Omnicef is not on the list and will cost $80 to fill. The spacer is not on the list either and is $50. So, I tell them to forget the spacer for now. The doctor thinks Andrew might be old enough to not need it, and we can try it without for now. They just need to call him to see what antibiotic to change it to. Andrew and I walk around the store for 20 minutes or so. We come back to pick up the prescriptions. Silly me paid for them before I asked what antibiotic they were able to switch it to. I stare at them blankly for several seconds when they tell me amoxicillin. After a long discussion about the fact that he already has amoxicillin at home, and the fact that the doctor was not happy about having nothing else to switch it to, they refunded my money and kept the Omnicef on file in case I can find somebody to borrow the money from to get it filled. So, I came home and had a good cry over the fact that my son is sick, getting worse, and I can not provide him the medicine he needs to get well.

And I know you are going to ask, so the answer is I applied for Medicaid back in April when I first came home full time. They denied me because I had $3000 and something in my 401k, and you’re apparently only allowed to have $2400 in assets in order to qualify for Medicaid. So, I had to withdraw the $3000 and something (which after the penalties for early withdrawal was $2200) and spend it before I could reapply. I did that a couple months ago and used it to catch up a few things until I could build my biz. I’ve just had a hard time getting back in there to reapply. I had hoped to do it before this season hit, but between my car problems and myself being sick, it sort of crept up on me. And to be honest, I’m not optimistic that they will approve it because I tried to apply once before, many years ago, based on working from home, and they aren’t so cooperative about it. They make it very hard to document and I’m afraid I’m at the point of making too much.

If you’ve gotten this far in reading, bless you. Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder. I know that God has a plan, not only for the medicine Andrew needs, but also to get my rent paid. It’s just hard sometimes to keep the flesh at bay, especially when your child is involved.

If you don’t mind, will you say a prayer for Andrew to get better? And will you say a little prayer for me too? I’ve been a much happier and less stressed person since I stopped worrying about things, and I don’t like seeing myself start to let this get to me.

I’m going to send out some ads tomorrow advertising some of the info products I have linked under the recommendations heading on my main site. Please pray for a good response, and I just might be able to pay for Andrew’s medicine and catch up at least one month of my rent.